When we launch ourselves into the singles market and actively start to date, it generally kicks off with the compilation of a wish list. Matchmaker and romance expert Lorraine Adams has been operating her business Gorgeous Networks.uk for over twenty years. Here she gives an insight into the biggest mistakes that singles can make when compiling their wish list.
In truth, the first big mistake is to actually create a wish list in the first place as realistically it just acts as a barrier to finding long-lasting love. However, if a list is merely to help you focus, then it should be regularly edited and condensed as you get further into your dating.
Invariably lists can change following the outcome of the first few dates. Sometimes if the dates are not materialized as rapidly as you had hoped, it should become clear that some of the original ‘must haves’ could be unrealistic.
Many singles who have just resurfaced from a troubled relationship tend to be mindful of what has been particularly challenging and list the exact opposite of what they have recently experienced so a wish list might consist of something like:
- Must be committed
- Has to be honest
- Must be able to communicate
- Has to be good in bed
Their list might also include a few nice to have’s, improving on their last partner.
- Must have a good head of hair
- Must be fit and trim
- Has to have a great job
- Must be tall /Petite/ slim/athletic
Characteristically long-term singles often include the things that they have particularly yearned for over the years when dreaming about potentially what they want a relationship to consist of. It is normal in this case to gravitate towards the stuff that they observe on the surface of their coupled-up friends or family. Things like:
- Must be tactile
- Has to want to travel
- I must be able to feel the chemistry
- Must want children
This is a common mistake as these types of ‘wants’ can generally evaporate when you meet someone you really fall for. For example, there have been many people who have given up hope of having a family or have never felt particularly maternal/paternal or they may already have children so they rule it out. Yet upon meeting someone with who they connect with that might all change. So ruling out someone because they mention that they do not want to start a family can be a bit hasty.
